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I realize today is Saturday but since it’s been a few days since I posted and because this prompt came at the perfect time, we’re going to pretend it’s Friday, and I’m going to do my Cool Blue Friday Writing prompt.

Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful. Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, “The Second Agreement”

Being insecure is part of being creative. As writers, artists, musicians, whatever your art is, you put your heart, soul, blood, sweat, and essence into your creations, so when someone critiques it, they’re not just critiquing your art, they’re critiquing the very core of who you are as a person. As hard as I try to separate myself from my art, to not take it personally, it’s sometimes difficult to do. Then there’s the line between confidence and arrogance and not wanting to cross it. It’s a delicate balance. A balance I’m learning to achieve. Slowly. And with the help of some awesome peeps.

 

 

What about you? Do you take it personally when people critique your work/art/writing? Do you truly know how wonderful you are or do you need others to tell you?

10 Responses so far.

  1. I take all critiques with a grain of salt and I try to use them to make my stories and writing better.

    When someone sends me an email saying how “great” a story was, I always write back and ask about what they didn’t like lol.

    When someone points out a mistake or something I didn’t do particularly well, I take what they have said and analyze it. Are they right? Often, they are. Sometimes, they are not. Either way, I thank them.

    My favorite critique came from someone who declared, “You know I don’t like you, but I have to say that your book is good.” That’s about the highest praise I have ever received and was one instance where I was able to believe the praise without reservation.

    The thing is….no one opinion counts. A collection of opinions from different people is probably more accurate. If a bunch of people say something is good or bad, it probably is.

    Learning to take praise properly is just as important as learning to take criticism. We’re all working on those things I think.

    Splitter

  2. Jenn P says:

    Girl, you aren’t wonderful….YOU ARE AMAZING and you know I heart you!

  3. Draven Ames says:

    I love a good critique. My favorite color is red. As far as I see it, every red thing someone beta reading finds is bringing my novel one step closer to perfection. It’s okay to not be perfect, but we need the eyes of our readers so we know if we are reaching them as intended.

    Great blog!

  4. Hey Dafeenah! Sorry, wasn’t following your new blog but got it fixed. My critique partners are awesome, so I’m good with what they say. It helps me to make a better story. And even reviews of my first book that point out a fault have helped, because I’ve tried to address those faults and write a better second book.

  5. Rhonda says:

    Good questions. I need someone to tell me I am wonderful, but I don’t take it personally when people critique my work – at least not the way you were talking about it. I can separate my writing from me.

    • Dafeenah says:

      Definitely a good balance to have.. I often don’t see the “wonderful” in my work. I’m definitely my hardest critic. But haven’t quite got the whole “separation” thing down.

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